Felt like we all needed another GO at this one…
*originally posted in 2013
This morning i was thinking about a couple new friends who recently asked me to share some things i’ve learned…i’m ahead of them in life, ya see. And so, i asked myself what i wish i could go back and tell younger-Kris. This letter started flowing out of me.
So. Trust me. These are some things I’ve learned the hard way. A “live document” that should get longer as the years go by. Younger-me, learn them now…don’t choose the hard way.
Don’t be so quick to be right. Sometimes your black/white may need to be grayer, actually. Listen more, speak less.
Don’t be scared to let ‘friends’ go. You dont need to be BFFs w/everyone, forever. Jesus wasnt. He has the masses, the 12, and then His main 3 bffs. 1 Cor 15:33 says bad folk corrupt good folk. Be the good folk and dismiss the bad. Younger-me, bad wont necessarily mean drugs and murder and such; bad will mean gossipy, selfish, and untrustworthy.
Remember your FIRST mission field. Your husband, kids, and/or home come FIRST. If good thinks like service and ministry take priority over your first mission field, re-order your priorities. Immediately. Always.
Build your husband up. The world will try to drag him down, younger-me, do not be one of the dragger-downers. Don’t undermine him in front of others and avoid wives who do that their husbands. Always.
Never be afraid to read, listen to, or seek to understand opposing points of view. Fear is not of God. If you’re afraid to listen/read/hear others, you are choosing to live in the bubble. Jesus didnt live in the bubble. Get solid in YOUR faith/beliefs and pray for wisdom.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Dance mom. Baseball mom. Wife. Neighbor. Yoga person. Cyclist. Grocery shopper. Hiker. Swimsuit wearer. Former you.
Always go to funerals. “But I didnt know the person.” You arent there for the dead person, you’re there for the ones in the front pews. Always. Go. To. Funerals.
Eat dinner at the table…without phones/screens. Teach yourselves and your family the value of listening w/your face and talking w/eye contact. Make the 24/7-crazyland-world STOP for an hour.
Know WHY you believe what you believe. Answer this for yourself. Not bc it’s what your parents said. Or, bc it’s what your church says. Get real and ask yourself WHY you believe what you believe. Own your own faith.
Never define people by ONE moment. If you choose to, then ask yourself how you’d feel if God chose ONE moment from your life to judge you by.
Look back, but don’t camp there. You are not defined by your history. It’s part of your story; its not your identity.
Surround yourself with wise people. Tom Nelson says: “Run the race God’s set out for you. Then, look to your left and your right and see who’s running in the same direction. Those are the people you want to do life with…not those detoured or pit-stopping indefinitely.” Same direction. Running the good race.
So, that’s the start…that’s what I know today. So, younger-me, save time and tears and listen to me. Been there. Done that.
What would your younger-me letter look like? Who are the younger-me’s in your life?