"Give me words to speak, dont let my spirit sleep…cuz I cant think of anything worth sayin" Aaron Shust
Is it ANY coincidence that I lost my voice for most of the week? Nah. Dont believe in coincidences…feeling pretty certain that its God’s funny lil way of reminding me of some things He’s teaching me lately.
"Give me words to speak…" Usually not a problem for me…not having words, that is. But are they the words to build up others and glorify Him? Or am I just spewin’ stuff to get attention…get a laugh…tear someone else down? Ouchy.
Often, my words are too many and overflowing at an unbelievable rate. Seriously, I am flabbergasted (great word) w/how quick I can come up w/color commentary, sarcastic quips, and the general witty banter. I once thought it was a gift…"wow, I’m HI-LAR-IOUS!" But, 99.9% of the time, after it has escaped OUT THERE, I regret it. I tell hubby "I got on my own nerves today" when I lose control of this weapon of mine…and lets just say, I get on my nerves A LOT.
So…over the past several months, I find myself working on TAMING MY TONGUE…its hard for me. I get on my nerves more often than I succeed. But every now and then…every once in a blue moon, when a GREAT remark comes to my mind – I SNAG it before it goes out. STOP. Is that building others up or bring glory to Him? OR, is that a holymolydidIreallysaythat? moment.
For me, its hardest when there are hurtful words shooting out at me or someone I love. Its EASY for me to defend, reflect, and slam w/words when someone I love is target. But, am I ‘defending’ in the way He’d have me use my mouth, or jumpin on board the hypocrisy train? Other times, its just a way to hide insecurities or fill the silence. I have problems with silence. I’m weak…and loud. And this week, out of words (er, voice that is) and its been a good thing.
I have this verse hanging above my phone – "Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips." Psalm 141:3
So, this week I’m reminded to set that "guard"…and as my physical voice is getting stronger, I can only pray that its one that is used the right way.