one of my all time favs

So, ever since we got back in town from the BEST trip EVER to see my lil bro Jon and big bro Steve (and of course…Steve’s MUCH better half Melinda) – I’ve been letting myself get downright overwhelmed. I’ve just floundered all week…over-scheduled, over-stressed about silly things (like laundry!), over-annoyed at kids being kids, and to top it off – I started feeling pretty sick on Friday. (NOTE better now)

W’as up w/that?

I’ll tell you…its one of those sneaky schemes that I let throw me off balance. We all have our issues…our vices…mine tend to be control and perfection. Yea, I said it. I NEVER thought of myself as a perfectionist until this past week when I learned something from my Kindergartener…and my hubby. She was in tears nightly this week – NOT wanting to read her lil reader books that were sent home as "homework". She said "I cant read as well as my classmates…I’m horrible at reading!" IT BROKE MY HEART. And then, wise-hubby pointed out that she is like me in so many ways…if she cant do it perfectly, she doesnt want to do it at all. Now, I get SOME credit for taming my inner beast in this area in past 10 years…even hubby acknowledged this, but as I thought about the frustrations of my week, the only thing that kept creeping in was…

"IF ONLY…THEN…"(yes,we technincal writers call that an "if/then" statement, thankyouthankyouverymuch)

When things get crazy/hard, my first thing to go is my control over my VICE…when I let my time w/the Lord slip to the bottom of my todo list, I get fixated on "IF I get the laundry all done and the beds changed and the garage cleaned and…and…and…THEN I’ll sit down w/my bible…THEN I’ll sitdown and chill w/my kids…THEN I wont act so dern stressed out"

Wow. What a joy-stealer satan can be when he can zone in on my struggles, remind me that I’m weak, and get me to focus on what he wants me to. Do you know what I mean?? Sheesh. How quiclky we can go from feeling like we’re walking the tightrope the way we’re supposed to – to feeling like a failure…like we’ve never made any ground at all.

And so, tonite…after watching the Cowboys break our hearts lose, to the pats, I had to ask Him to help DIG me out of my pity party…help me quit focusing on the dirty floors, my missed workouts, and on and on. Instead, I just asked to be reminded of what He wants me to focus on. And so, at 7.30p He gave me the best 30 mins of my week. Here’s how it looked…

Big 3rd grader in a comfy chair reading his chapter book. Daddyo on the couch reading his book. Big crazy dogs playing on the floor…silence in the house – except for the sounds of pages turning and a lil sweet Kindergartener snuggled up with me reading her lil reader books like a champ "I SEE A COW"…feeling so good about herself that she wanted to read them 3xs to me…and all I could do was just watch her go and thank Him for stopping my madness long enough to breathe this moment in. Sounds simple, but it was one of my all time fav nites.

And so, as I write…my house is a mess, I’m behind on SO many things I need to have done, but I will choose to lift my eyes up…and tomorrow will start differently. Every single day is a new struggle to do it right…to focus on His will for our lives. And, every day His mercies are NEW for all the stuff I mess up along the way.

So, if you’re like me and you seem to find yourself getting all tangled up in stuff that you want to be RID of, know that you arent alone!! And, more importantly know this…

Lamentations 3.22-23

22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
       for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
       great is your faithfulness.