I talked to a sweet friend today who just FOUND my blog…yea, its out there and sometimes people find it for the 1st time. So cool. It got me thinkin, what would someone THINK if they started reading backward at some of those entries. Wow…what a window into my soul. But, as I sat here and read thru some, I was humbled at THIS one. And so, maybe you need to stop and write a "Psalm 126" today and remember what He's done in your life. I know I did…I can never read over this too many times.
Psalm 126 (The Message)
It seemed like a dream, too good to be true,
when God returned Zion's exiles.
We laughed, we sang,
we couldnt believe our good fortune.
We were the talk of the nations–
"God was wonderful to them!"
God was wonderful to us;
we are one happy people.
And now, God, do it again–
bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts
will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.
this study I'm doing is asking me to re-write the Psalm that I study to
apply to me. Today, I was humbled…today I was reminded of miracles
and blessings and how easily life can strangle out the memories of what
– at the time – you think you'll NEVER forget. Never.
Psalm is cool bc it is what so many of us want to ask God to do but
dont think its right or (for me) somehow think by asking, we are
inviting struggle and pain again. The Psalmist is reminiscing about a
time in his life when God delivered him…a time, when God was SO
amazing w/His "rescue" that it could've ONLY been God. He remembers
that time…the joy, the laughter, the wonder of it all.
is God's take on that? When we ask for that – "DO IT AGAIN". I can
trace so many times in my life where spiritually life was in line…I
knew where my focus was, I felt it, I lived it. Most of those times
came thru/after hard life stuff…tragedy and pain. When I ask for Him
to "DO IT AGAIN" – my biggest superstitious-human fear is that to live
that perfect spiritual direction is to endure more hardship. But, why
do I limit the God of the universe? Why do I think His guidance is
limited to MY circumstances? That is ME putting that limitation on Him.
life – but the first one that flashed to my mind and literally made my
hands shake as I wrote it was when God healed my sweet son. "Adenoma in
the pituitary gland" was the initial diagnosis (that is, cancer-free
tumor). Treatment methods included brain surgery and/or intense drugs
that would alter his personality and had severe side-effects. Other
risks included loss of eyesight as/if the tumor grew and other brain
issues. I'll never, ever, ever, ever forget parking in the
pediatricians parking lot w/hubby and we both sobbed. We cried at the
unfairness of it, we moaned at the 'what ifs' we were facing. I told
God I was mad and that I should (according to my wisdom and all) have a
FREE PASS for life after the loss I'd suffered so far.
we continued on the weeks of MRIs, sonograms, and blood tests – our
diagnosis (thank You Lord) was downgraded unexpectedly to a "cyst". NO
TREATMENT…just watch and get MRIs yearly until there was a change. We
knew God had answered our prayers of healing…but we had NO idea what
He had planned.
we were on a beach in Florida as we anxiously awaited the results of
the MRI. The call we got was, "I dont know how to tell you this…but
there is NOTHING THERE. This hasnt happened to me before…but its
GONE.", said our hoity-toity Pediatric Endocrinologist. He then said we
did not have to continue testing or appointments unless it came back.
He doubted he's see us ever again.
so as I type, I am sickened about the way we've let life's worries and
circumstances choke out the beauty of that miracle…the healing He
gave. Today I asked Him to do it again…only this time, heal ME. Keep
me focused on what He wants me to focus on…not on unimportant stuff
that steals the glory of it all. I dont want to have to go back to that
parking lot to find trust in His absolute leading again…