I’ve got a friend who gave me this bag of goo and said “it’s friendship bread”. Cool. I love bread. I love my sweet friend. This’ll be fun. She hands me this goo bag and sends me the directions. Cool, methinks.
I am a rules girl – so every day I’ve faithfully followed the directions. Then, I hit the 5th day of “squish the bag”. And, I kinda snapped. I might have even lovingly said outloud, “SERIOUSLY? STILL SQUISHING?” (I love you, Heather.) I’m not gonna lie…I considered dropping the bag in the trash and trying to think of a reasonable excuse to tell sweet Heather who shared this fantastic goo with me. I suppose the monotony of seeing NO CHANGE had gotten to me. I needed to SEEEEEEEEEE something happen!
I sighed heavily (no lie…it was audible) and squished thankyouverymuch. Then, something fantastical happened…Day 6 happened!!! I got to add some stuff to the bag before I squished. Cool. Progress. YESIREE. I got huge satisfaction in the SEEING. Good stuff.
Well, I don’t have to tell you…today I woke up and saw “Day 7: Squish the bag.” Sigh. Back to squishing. Who knew this sweet lil experiment would become such an inner battle with me?
So after some half-hearted squishing, I sat down and read this:
“Authentic thanks is always for all things, because our God is a God kneading all things into a bread that sustains.” – Ann Voskamp
Hey, wait…kneading. That’s what I’m doing. I may not SEE change, but I’m creating change by kneading that bag of goo. Change is happening…even in the small, seemingly-inconsequential act of “squishing”. How often do I overlook those things that seem insignificant? Daily? Hourly? By the minute? Sheesh.
And right then – when I read that – I realized it. I’m GREAT at the visible in my life. I’m solid as a rock in the tragedies. I’m pounding my chest and pointing to the sky (metaphorically, of course – a pro athlete I am NOT) in the good times. But, during the “everythings-OK-just-truckin-along-no-big-highs-no-big-lows” times, I’m fidgety. I’m ready to toss the bag in the trash…waiting/trusting/being still are NOT my fortes.
So, I was gifted with squishing the bag at just this very moment. I needed this lesson. Kneading, squishing, and thanking God for every lil bit He gives me…even the parts that don’t seem to make sense or feel like I’m making progress at all. Trusting Him when I see no differences…while knowing that soon if I hang in there, I’ll be tasting bread (on Day 10, that is).