A new hashtag? Um. Maybe not a great one, but a hashtag nonetheless. “Things they need to know.” This blog originally surfaced in 2012. I let the “series” die, but thinking it needs a resurrection, eh? Be on the lookout for #ttntk…and maybe u can comment and add to my list.
I’m thinking about my kids this morning. I can hear they TV going in the other room and a few muffled laughs here and there. They are the coolest. But, as I sit here and think/pray/fill up my soul a bit, I realize there are so many things they need to know. Things I’m learning…things I want them to learn, too.
1) Ask yourself, “Is this mine?”
I’m a recovering fixer. No, I don’t mean the kind of fixer who can get the broken toilet flushing right or even the fixer who can untangle necklaces or ear bud cords. I’m another type of “fixer” – I’m the person who tries to fix things that aren’t necessarily mine to fix. Chronic fixers usually seem happy and content, but they have a hurricane of anxiety stirring inside when they put on the fixer-hat and get to work. Fixers want everyone to agree with them and their plan on action. They desire perfect harmony at all times…at any cost. Fixers often hide behind the “I’m just being helpful, how can helpfulness ever be wrong?” argument. Its flimsy at best, ya see even Jesus, the Savior of the world, didnt fix EVERYone.
Check this out:
“He healed people, but he didn’t heal everyone. He stirred things up wherever he went, and the Pharisees hated the fact that he existed. He associated with adulterous and unclean women, lepers, and tax collectors. Though he was without sin, there were still those who questioned his reputation. Knowing there were people who disagreed, even hated him, didnt cause him to change one thing he did. He wasnt working to maintain a good reputation. He was walking in the dependence on the Father. Jesus didnt value what people thought, he valued people…” – Emily P. Freeman
Recently I read that a good way for fixers to handle the day-to-day addiction to fixing was to write a simple question somewhere you could see it daily/hourly/minute-ly (just made that word up, you’re welcome):
IS THIS MINE?
I wrote it on my hand. I had to look at that question every day for 3 weeks or so. Why so long? Because facing this question showed me just how many things i take on to fix that aren’t even MINE.
Our pastor/friend Ron Holton said once: “You cannot change another person. You CAN only impact and influence another person.” So to my sweet kids I want to say this: You cannot fix everything/everyone and you are not CALLED to do it either. It’s NOT YOURS.
Love others well, but within reason.
Live a life drenched in character and integrity in public and in private.
Quit trying to control, correct, and over-explain, just value people.
Let life get broken and tangled sometimes, let God do the fixing and untangling.
Where will you write “IS THIS MINE?” today?